daisy

thanks to jenna for sending in this photo of her grandmother enjoying a bowl of uncle ben's famous rice.

it's june, everyone! we all know what that means: if anyone can submit a photo of an old woman eating an arby's roastburger, they'll win a personal date with daisy right here! good luck!

frances

i don't know what to do anymore you guys, no one is submitting any pictures of old ladies anymore, and i've blown almost all my assets on genuine clam pearls

this is like the dot-com bubble all over again

suzette

taken right before she wolfed down the entire thing in one impressive gulp.

bernice

hey, you know that whole thing on the right about sending in pics? yeah, well, use it. i'm doing all the work here and that's just not fair. do you know what it's like to socialize with a different old woman every day? come on people.

barb & fran

DOUBLE WHAMMY (granny, lol)

pearl

she's a little younger than i typically have on here, but look at that smile.

paulette

estelle

a cash prize of $4500 goes to whoever can guess what estelle is eating.

bev

it's bev's birthday, everyone. birthday greetings and best wishes can be sent to bev@frank.tv

thank you for your kind donations everyone! i've made over $10,900 in the past week alone. i think this site is going to make it after all.

eunice

recently there has been some heavy debate on the frank.tv forums over the idea that my beloved friend greta is actually a man. i would like to nip this potentially libelous rumor right in the bud by stating that i know greta personally, i have dined with greta on several occasions and she has loaned me possibly over $30,000, and she is absolutely not a man. these statements are hateful and are clearly the product of a disappointingly misguided jealousy. you ought be shamed.

lulu

opal

margot

thanks to jake e. for sending in this charming photo of his darling great aunt margot enjoying a creamy bun.

gretchen

masha

hertha

marge

greta

helen

roberta

agatha

ruth